A Missed Ring

...just the way it is!

Sometime ago, during the lockdown, I had gone to the ATM to withdraw some cash and then I panicked.

After taking out the cash I realized that my wedding ring was missing. I could swear (if I were used to swearing) that I had it on my finger a few minutes ago.

You know how you get that rush of blood to the head in a moment?

That was exactly what I experienced. Before taking my turn at the machine I had spotted a weird looking man in his mid sixties or so leaning on the wall of what served as the barricade to the last ATM in a roll of five.

No, he didn't look insane or tattered. If anything, he was neatly dressed but had several rings on his fingers like dandies do. He had a few minutes ago alighted from his car (so, it appeared); a mercedes.

In that momentary confusion running through my mind, I didn't know what to do next. Could it be that the weird looking man had hypnotized me and got my ring off?

No way! I said to myself. That couldn't have been with a few people around. I assured myself.

Could my ring had slipped off into the machine as I made to collect my cash from it?

Yeah, that could be it. I said to myself. I waited a few minutes to make up my mind on what next to do. Then I did, took turn on the queue again just to run a check. Sadly, it wasn't there.

The only alternative left for me was to go home and console myself with such emotional loss for a ring that hadn't left my finger for more than five minutes since I had my nuptials.

I left for home, moodily.

But something else had happened earlier that I didn't remember while heading home...

Beyond Her Beauty

...just the way it is!

As an undergraduate, Child Psychology used to interest me (for whatsoever reasons. But now I know why). Two of the few things I picked up from that enviable field of study are:

Kids take after their mothers' intelligent quota. No matter how intelligent you're as a man, your kids will pick that from their mother. Not yours. This is sad for me but it is scientifically proven. You can Google it up if in doubt. So, Mr. Bachelor look beyond the physiognomy of that spinster you want to marry and her current financial standing into her brain.

The second one is - Kids learn faster with their fathers than with their mothers. The problem here is that most fathers hardly spend that lecture time with their kids. Before you argue this with me (Na Oyibo talk am anyway), when was the last time you did the kids' assignments with them or read a story book with them as a father?

A Stiff Penis

...just the way it is!

"My Pee Pee e big.

See? E big.

Daddy, my Pee Pee e big."

At that, I turned to look at him because he had nudged me at the last sentence. And I beheld a half length cigarette sized erect penis. He had pulled his boxers down a bit to show me the troubled area.

'No, it's not big. It's ok.' I assured him.

'Do you want to wee wee?' I enquired?

'No! E my pee pee. E big.' My son insisted.

Hehehehe... The young lad was noticing his erection for the first time or could be his first time to articulate it to daddy.

He had woken around 3am on the said day which was few days ago to join me on my side of the bed as I surfed the net for news and noticed he had a stiff penis.

I know some people would label their kids wayward if that happened with them.

My take, and it should be yours too...

What happened was normal, only that we weren't told during Biology classes that it could happen with two-year kids.

I was taught, I don't know 'bout you, that early morning erection was a sign of fertility in adult male.

But here was a kid experiencing nature and unmindful of what science and biology postulate.

He simply had a rush of blood supply to the penis. It now happens almost every night with him.

Each time it happens and he is awake, I put him through the same sequence of questioning and reassurance that all is okay.

Colonial-Vilus Again?

...just the way it is!

I guess even my kids are now bored with this "Colonavilus" thing. Make this Chinese do go sef, make persin rest jor.

Each time I am listening to the radio and the usual talk comes up, they scream in unison...

"Coronavirus again? Every time Coronavirus, Coronavirus"

I just give them the side look and continue with what I am doing...